i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
