4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
