he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
