I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
