grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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