I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
