it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Found your dick twin last night
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
