are you so shy because you have an std?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
