also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
