look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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