how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
