whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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