is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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