Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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