The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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