Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
