she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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