if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
