Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
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