omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
