I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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