if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
