he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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