You're completely useless in the revolution.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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