he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
