i need an iv and a liver transplant
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
