the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
