hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Four minutes until I can fart!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
