Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
