Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
