Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
