So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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