Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
