It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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