Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
