does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
