Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Houston, we have a squirter
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
