508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
