is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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