ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
