found the other keg... it's in the tree
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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