just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
