so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
