i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
