No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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