There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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