you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
