so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize