bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
