Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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