I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
