I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
